It’s amazing just how deeply this subconscious reaction to needing to be able to do it all, as a woman, goes. I am still trying to untie myself from the guilt of not doing it all, or of not wanting to do it all.
I love the fierce gentle No. that will be ringing around in my ears for some time.
Yes it’s insidiously subconscious, all the unhealthy ‘shoulds’ we pile on ourselves, and I totally feel you on the guilt of not even wanting to do it all, such an important piece of awareness 💜
Yeah, we live in a sick society. I think most men wouldn't expect nor want a woman to overextend herself. I will say, for the sake of the children especially, the still-man-slanted language of "patriarchy" probably creates an image similar to the one seen by men, that they're somehow the bad guys even though they never demanded any of this. Many are bad guys, but in any case, if it's about the kids, hopefully there won't be little boys thinking they're bad or their fathers are, for nothing.
It’s essential we are all open to hearing each other; it takes courage for all of us to speak up, whichever position we come from. I appreciate you sharing some of your experience
Along these lines, I have stopped using the term "patriarchy" in favor of "old system" or "old paradigm". I think it more accurately reflects the siphoning of the soul energy that has been happening across societies for millennia. Men are already being shamed enough for their masculinity these days, and the problems described in this article run much deeper than just our current economic and social structures, IMO. Wonderful topic to be bringing to light, regardless of the terms being used 🙏💖
Yeah, I appreciate hearing about the struggles of a mother and how much can go into that, and it will be nice when we can put the blame on neither sex as a larger group, or if we have to, sort of place the blame in specific places, rather than “This system is so horrible and it’s named after men.” It’s like, really? I don’t know, seems like a matriarchy to me, in terms of the double-standards of who gets the benefit of the doubt, etc. But, not to make it about that, thank you for your comment, and I appreciate your kind words.
Edit: Actually, a matriarchy that serves only the most abusive men who will twist it to their whims. And women, I suppose, too, but really, it just serves guys who talk about having harems and how cool that is. And those are the guys given the benefit of the doubt, because we've all devalued relationships, so much. The only sin is loving your wife, lol, because that's what a LOSER does. God, if you care about a woman, you're a loser, and the women will tell you that, too, incel!
Sorry, you can tell this is kind of indeed painful for the men, too!
I see you and I hear you, Matthew. I can only imagine the confusion and pain as a male or as a father who only wants the best for the women in his life when he hears the term "patriarchy" or even "toxic masculinity" used to describe only part of the problem. I think both men and women could benefit from sincerely dialoguing about how this trance of shame and unworthiness affects them because it seems to be all pervasive.
Yes! It is systems and not people! We are the ones who are here to change the system and find fierce power in the "No" of not any longer. Because as you say, "Our Children are watching."
Doing a lot of unlearning, listening, holding, and appreciation to those who are here for the journey of change within to move out.
So much goodness in this piece! Keep speaking your truths!
These are some heavy-hitting voices that you're contending with, my love! I LOVE the accompanying artwork that you created! Gorgeous!
Recently I've been taking a course called The Feminine Way and in it, she talks about extractive practices that we engage with in our feminine nature. Written all over the patriarchal expectations that you're describing are extractive practices. Of course the house isn't clean. You're tending to your little love. Of course dinner isn't on the table. You have other priorities. Sending your household healing vibes this week. May everyone be right as rain soon! xo
Unlearning "productivity" when it comes to art has been one of my greatest challenges
Nurturing has replaced this, and though the guilt is real, and the growth is slow, it's unlocking something that's subtle and profound. What is the point of giving oneself if it does not come from a place a love?
It feels like a rebellion in today's world- to move slowly, to go deep inside of wide.
I love your writing and your mind, Sarina. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us :)
Oh I so hear you - the nurturing, the slowness and how much more profound it is to be coming from love, thank you for sharing your experience they are helping anchor these upgrades even deeper into my being 💜
Oooohhh this gave me the feels.
It’s amazing just how deeply this subconscious reaction to needing to be able to do it all, as a woman, goes. I am still trying to untie myself from the guilt of not doing it all, or of not wanting to do it all.
I love the fierce gentle No. that will be ringing around in my ears for some time.
Yes it’s insidiously subconscious, all the unhealthy ‘shoulds’ we pile on ourselves, and I totally feel you on the guilt of not even wanting to do it all, such an important piece of awareness 💜
"All while our children are watching."
Yeah, we live in a sick society. I think most men wouldn't expect nor want a woman to overextend herself. I will say, for the sake of the children especially, the still-man-slanted language of "patriarchy" probably creates an image similar to the one seen by men, that they're somehow the bad guys even though they never demanded any of this. Many are bad guys, but in any case, if it's about the kids, hopefully there won't be little boys thinking they're bad or their fathers are, for nothing.
Completely agree. Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Thanks for your response! I appreciate your openness to it.
It’s essential we are all open to hearing each other; it takes courage for all of us to speak up, whichever position we come from. I appreciate you sharing some of your experience
Along these lines, I have stopped using the term "patriarchy" in favor of "old system" or "old paradigm". I think it more accurately reflects the siphoning of the soul energy that has been happening across societies for millennia. Men are already being shamed enough for their masculinity these days, and the problems described in this article run much deeper than just our current economic and social structures, IMO. Wonderful topic to be bringing to light, regardless of the terms being used 🙏💖
Yeah, I appreciate hearing about the struggles of a mother and how much can go into that, and it will be nice when we can put the blame on neither sex as a larger group, or if we have to, sort of place the blame in specific places, rather than “This system is so horrible and it’s named after men.” It’s like, really? I don’t know, seems like a matriarchy to me, in terms of the double-standards of who gets the benefit of the doubt, etc. But, not to make it about that, thank you for your comment, and I appreciate your kind words.
Edit: Actually, a matriarchy that serves only the most abusive men who will twist it to their whims. And women, I suppose, too, but really, it just serves guys who talk about having harems and how cool that is. And those are the guys given the benefit of the doubt, because we've all devalued relationships, so much. The only sin is loving your wife, lol, because that's what a LOSER does. God, if you care about a woman, you're a loser, and the women will tell you that, too, incel!
Sorry, you can tell this is kind of indeed painful for the men, too!
I see you and I hear you, Matthew. I can only imagine the confusion and pain as a male or as a father who only wants the best for the women in his life when he hears the term "patriarchy" or even "toxic masculinity" used to describe only part of the problem. I think both men and women could benefit from sincerely dialoguing about how this trance of shame and unworthiness affects them because it seems to be all pervasive.
Yes! It is systems and not people! We are the ones who are here to change the system and find fierce power in the "No" of not any longer. Because as you say, "Our Children are watching."
Doing a lot of unlearning, listening, holding, and appreciation to those who are here for the journey of change within to move out.
So much goodness in this piece! Keep speaking your truths!
This is fantastic. I work in a 99% female environment and I can tell you the patriarchy is fully alive. Women pushing themselves to the limit.
Yes it’s insidiously working through us, especially when we deplete ourselves in the name of serving others. Thank you Claire 💜
These are some heavy-hitting voices that you're contending with, my love! I LOVE the accompanying artwork that you created! Gorgeous!
Recently I've been taking a course called The Feminine Way and in it, she talks about extractive practices that we engage with in our feminine nature. Written all over the patriarchal expectations that you're describing are extractive practices. Of course the house isn't clean. You're tending to your little love. Of course dinner isn't on the table. You have other priorities. Sending your household healing vibes this week. May everyone be right as rain soon! xo
Thank you beautiful! X
Unlearning "productivity" when it comes to art has been one of my greatest challenges
Nurturing has replaced this, and though the guilt is real, and the growth is slow, it's unlocking something that's subtle and profound. What is the point of giving oneself if it does not come from a place a love?
It feels like a rebellion in today's world- to move slowly, to go deep inside of wide.
I love your writing and your mind, Sarina. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us :)
Oh I so hear you - the nurturing, the slowness and how much more profound it is to be coming from love, thank you for sharing your experience they are helping anchor these upgrades even deeper into my being 💜
Love your art! And love the “normalizing nourishment.”🥰
Thanks Teyani! Appreciate you 💜
Absolutely! It’s up to us to make shifts within. I so appreciate your voice here, thank you Cory 💜