This is a beautiful reminder. I've been making it my personal practice lately to try to invite joy into my day. I noticed how often I was putting off joy because I had to focus on serious stuff. Finally one day I woke up to the fact that joy is what gives me the fuel to get through the serious stuff....
This was so lovely to read, especially as I am attempting to reincorporate creativity into my life. The first initiative being to get back to writing here on substack 🙃 thank you for writing and sharing these truths and reminders ✨
I am so glad you are finally feeling better! I love the invitation to indulge before housework, I find when I can tend to myself, my creativity, or whatever is really igniting joy and pleasure for me before I tend to the daily duties, I feel very different. I am excited for your posts with Sarah! Let me know if there is anyway I can support you both.
Thank you for this Sarina, it is a beautiful permission slip to not deny myself from continuing to build a life that allows for my joy and sovereignty, in order to reclaim my connection to my self/source. Where you spoke to the demands of work/parenting meaning that our days are not our own really spoke to me. As did prioritising an ‘indulgence’/creative act before the housework, as this is my current philosophy and way of prioritising myself. Thank you again for your words and I’m glad you are feeling better xxxx
Ahh Lyndsay I’m so glad this message reinforced what you’re already practicing, may we continue to remind each other of this necessity, to prioritise our pleasure and joy. And thanks yes it’s such a relief to feel well again! 💜💜
Pleasure is an act of reclamation. It becomes a political act to allow our desires to be actualized. And truly, desire is not something that can be fabricated. We don't create desire: it is planted within us. So what will do with it? We are going against the grain of what women are supposedly meant for: care-talking. Self-sacrificing. Martyrdom. Putting pleasure first changes everything. It isn't something to be earned or worked for. It wants to be lived, actualized, embodied through us.
Exactly. We don’t pluck desire out of thin air, it’s inextricable from our individual design and is divine intelligence, which is crazy when we think how many of us, or how much time in our lives we’ve spent pondering what to do with our lives, instead of following our desires as guidance!
Indeed! Desire is a seed that has been planted in us. I've literally been thinking a lot about this and how we seek for meaning and purpose outside of ourselves, when our desires are a map!
I loved reading this as it parallels some experiences I have had and some contorted feelings around them. Whether it was college, career or household chores I always seemed to have a limit beyond which I would not perform. When in environments surrounded by high performers I would keep up to a point and then lose interest when the effort just seemed too much. I looked at it as a character defect or a lack of discipline and will. I have recently been looking back and feeling perhaps it was more an inner knowing, and your article resonated with my nascent thoughts about this. . . and lo Simone Biles pops up reflecting just this; there are times to back off and times to move forward.
I am in my seventies now, but in my late twenties when laid off from a job, I decided to move to Maui and go explore and experience. This was not looked at as a career building move. One day that is etched into my memory so clearly, as if to transcend time, I was up in Kula on a tractor working on a crop study for the University of Hawaii. I paused to take in the remarkable view of the island leading down to Kahului Bay and had this eerie feeling of knowingness that I would remember that moment for the rest of my life, as if my life were a folded fabric through time and this thread pierced many layers in this moment. As time has passed, I now so appreciate the years I spent there and my willingness to step off the "path" I had been on, all due to a vague knowingness and a willingness to be indulgent.
Oh Rick I resonated deeply which this thing of a limit beyond which you cannot perform, gosh how I’d confused myself around this as well as kinda laughed at people who did everything by the book, unquestioning and complying.
An inner knowing we had - absolutely I believe this, I call it divine aversion, something utterly intolerable to the soul while the conditioned parts try to keep up, no wonder there was dissonance! I’m so relieved and inspired to hear of your choice to follow the nudges in your heart, and lean into indulging. What a wonderful image etched in your being, how proud you must be to not have followed the crowd! 💛💛
I got part way through your piece and wanted to shout my joy from the rooftops! My teacher Jaiya starts every call, meeting and training with Pleasure First, as a way to prioritize pleasure
This piece was a real eye-opener for reframing indulgence. Thank you for that. The question that I have often times, is the struggle of which part of me to indulge. As there is often times a conflict of internal values that can bring up extreme emotional turmoil.
Oh I hear you Isaiah, what complex beings we are! In the Vedic World view, which I’ve found endlessly helpful in simplifying these aspects of our complex humanity, the idea is to follow charm, have you heard about this? Charm is specific in its intelligence, and often doesn’t ’make sense’ at first, but it’s part of trusting the intelligence of Nature when it comes to choices and directions. Indulgence for me is as simple as what I desire to experience sensually and often what I desire to create aesthetically 💕
Yes, I’m aware of Charm and its inherent draw and magnetism. I know that there is inherent wisdom in there to let me know what to indulge in and connect to.
I’m just wondering, if there might be different parts of our selves, that have contradicting Charms, and maybe sensory indulgence might come at the cost of let’s say an emotional, intellectual or spiritual Charm…
What are your thoughts? Or are you sold on the body’s pull?
Oooo interesting. In my experience so far I would say yes, I’m guided by my body’s pull. There’s certainly been times I’ve second guessed where I should indulge, but that of course, has been heady, layered with ‘this thing could be best for me’ or ‘this thing makes sense’ . The body’s subtle pull seems to invite me into a place I can lose myself a little, which is usually the nourishment most needed.
Hi Sarina 👋 So lovely to hear you're well again 👍 This was lovely and so inspiring. It is such a shame that so many of us feel so guilty for doing the things that bring us joy and indulgence. Thank you for the reminder to just let go and indulge 😊
Thank you darling Eva, so beautiful to hear from you. It is a shame, and yet if I reconsider this idea of it being a shame it feels so much lighter and more accessible to call it an invitation, to break the spell and experience what can be so pleasurable and so simple. Its something of a muscle we need to keep working, muscle memory for pleasure and joy and indulgence, to normalise it ❤️
This is a beautiful reminder. I've been making it my personal practice lately to try to invite joy into my day. I noticed how often I was putting off joy because I had to focus on serious stuff. Finally one day I woke up to the fact that joy is what gives me the fuel to get through the serious stuff....
Absolutely have found the same, it’s like we’ve been conditioned to act like we need to ‘earn’ each joyful moment. Thank you for reading Vicki 💜
Yes to being bored of the half-happened experiences shared on Instagram. Give me the real, visceral, ooey-gooey thing!
Right?!
rather than indulgence - it’s a reinvestment into personal happiness & passions
Stickers in paper. My indulgence:-)
This was so lovely to read, especially as I am attempting to reincorporate creativity into my life. The first initiative being to get back to writing here on substack 🙃 thank you for writing and sharing these truths and reminders ✨
Awesome Isabella, may you find deep fulfilment in your process writing again 💜
Loved your defence of indulgence! How very true and necessary. We all need to incorporate much more indulgence in to our lives.....
We do! Thank you for reading and being here Birgit. May indulgence be normal as well as sacred💜
I am so glad you are finally feeling better! I love the invitation to indulge before housework, I find when I can tend to myself, my creativity, or whatever is really igniting joy and pleasure for me before I tend to the daily duties, I feel very different. I am excited for your posts with Sarah! Let me know if there is anyway I can support you both.
Yes it really does feel different that way round.
Thank you, I’m so relieved to be feeling vital again.
And that would be awesome! Will get in touch about how best we can offer it up to your people too 💜💜
Love this sm 👏🏼
Thank you for this Sarina, it is a beautiful permission slip to not deny myself from continuing to build a life that allows for my joy and sovereignty, in order to reclaim my connection to my self/source. Where you spoke to the demands of work/parenting meaning that our days are not our own really spoke to me. As did prioritising an ‘indulgence’/creative act before the housework, as this is my current philosophy and way of prioritising myself. Thank you again for your words and I’m glad you are feeling better xxxx
Ahh Lyndsay I’m so glad this message reinforced what you’re already practicing, may we continue to remind each other of this necessity, to prioritise our pleasure and joy. And thanks yes it’s such a relief to feel well again! 💜💜
Pleasure is an act of reclamation. It becomes a political act to allow our desires to be actualized. And truly, desire is not something that can be fabricated. We don't create desire: it is planted within us. So what will do with it? We are going against the grain of what women are supposedly meant for: care-talking. Self-sacrificing. Martyrdom. Putting pleasure first changes everything. It isn't something to be earned or worked for. It wants to be lived, actualized, embodied through us.
Exactly. We don’t pluck desire out of thin air, it’s inextricable from our individual design and is divine intelligence, which is crazy when we think how many of us, or how much time in our lives we’ve spent pondering what to do with our lives, instead of following our desires as guidance!
Indeed! Desire is a seed that has been planted in us. I've literally been thinking a lot about this and how we seek for meaning and purpose outside of ourselves, when our desires are a map!
I loved reading this as it parallels some experiences I have had and some contorted feelings around them. Whether it was college, career or household chores I always seemed to have a limit beyond which I would not perform. When in environments surrounded by high performers I would keep up to a point and then lose interest when the effort just seemed too much. I looked at it as a character defect or a lack of discipline and will. I have recently been looking back and feeling perhaps it was more an inner knowing, and your article resonated with my nascent thoughts about this. . . and lo Simone Biles pops up reflecting just this; there are times to back off and times to move forward.
I am in my seventies now, but in my late twenties when laid off from a job, I decided to move to Maui and go explore and experience. This was not looked at as a career building move. One day that is etched into my memory so clearly, as if to transcend time, I was up in Kula on a tractor working on a crop study for the University of Hawaii. I paused to take in the remarkable view of the island leading down to Kahului Bay and had this eerie feeling of knowingness that I would remember that moment for the rest of my life, as if my life were a folded fabric through time and this thread pierced many layers in this moment. As time has passed, I now so appreciate the years I spent there and my willingness to step off the "path" I had been on, all due to a vague knowingness and a willingness to be indulgent.
Oh Rick I resonated deeply which this thing of a limit beyond which you cannot perform, gosh how I’d confused myself around this as well as kinda laughed at people who did everything by the book, unquestioning and complying.
An inner knowing we had - absolutely I believe this, I call it divine aversion, something utterly intolerable to the soul while the conditioned parts try to keep up, no wonder there was dissonance! I’m so relieved and inspired to hear of your choice to follow the nudges in your heart, and lean into indulging. What a wonderful image etched in your being, how proud you must be to not have followed the crowd! 💛💛
I got part way through your piece and wanted to shout my joy from the rooftops! My teacher Jaiya starts every call, meeting and training with Pleasure First, as a way to prioritize pleasure
Ooo now this is how to begin a call!
This piece was a real eye-opener for reframing indulgence. Thank you for that. The question that I have often times, is the struggle of which part of me to indulge. As there is often times a conflict of internal values that can bring up extreme emotional turmoil.
Oh I hear you Isaiah, what complex beings we are! In the Vedic World view, which I’ve found endlessly helpful in simplifying these aspects of our complex humanity, the idea is to follow charm, have you heard about this? Charm is specific in its intelligence, and often doesn’t ’make sense’ at first, but it’s part of trusting the intelligence of Nature when it comes to choices and directions. Indulgence for me is as simple as what I desire to experience sensually and often what I desire to create aesthetically 💕
Yes, I’m aware of Charm and its inherent draw and magnetism. I know that there is inherent wisdom in there to let me know what to indulge in and connect to.
I’m just wondering, if there might be different parts of our selves, that have contradicting Charms, and maybe sensory indulgence might come at the cost of let’s say an emotional, intellectual or spiritual Charm…
What are your thoughts? Or are you sold on the body’s pull?
Oooo interesting. In my experience so far I would say yes, I’m guided by my body’s pull. There’s certainly been times I’ve second guessed where I should indulge, but that of course, has been heady, layered with ‘this thing could be best for me’ or ‘this thing makes sense’ . The body’s subtle pull seems to invite me into a place I can lose myself a little, which is usually the nourishment most needed.
At times my body craves water, and that’s a healthy pull and at times I need to recognize that the brownies pull is not such a healthy one… 😜
Ha yes, food really challenges the discernment of what’s charm and what isn’t!
Hi Sarina 👋 So lovely to hear you're well again 👍 This was lovely and so inspiring. It is such a shame that so many of us feel so guilty for doing the things that bring us joy and indulgence. Thank you for the reminder to just let go and indulge 😊
Thank you darling Eva, so beautiful to hear from you. It is a shame, and yet if I reconsider this idea of it being a shame it feels so much lighter and more accessible to call it an invitation, to break the spell and experience what can be so pleasurable and so simple. Its something of a muscle we need to keep working, muscle memory for pleasure and joy and indulgence, to normalise it ❤️