We're Not Here to Bury Dreams Under Our Relationships
Beautiful humans, thank you for being here. Below is a preview for free subs and full post + audio for paid subscribers. Enjoy x
We bury dreams under romantic relationships, we bury dreams under motherhood, we bury dreams under the identities of who we should be for others.
We must not convince ourselves our dreams are less noble or worthy than our partner’s.
We must not throw our desires to the gutter because we’re mothers now and need to be all-available for our children.
And we must not submit to the quiet patriarchal deathgrip on women’s dreams, which has us turn against them, humiliating them for being too fanciful, silly or inconvenient.
Watch out for that voice. It’s not ours.
As someone who has buried many a dream under a romantic relationship, I now live acutely aware of the fragility of dreams.
They need nurturance if they are to stay alive in our hearts, and they need support if they are to be realised.
In The Risk of Not Sharing Our Dreams, I shared something that once triggered my envy, until I realised the intelligence of the trigger - that I dreamed to write and illustrate my own poetry book.
Since sharing this dream in that post, I’ve been working on it steadily, feeling uplifted and held by the beautiful responses and support.
My dream loves having others along for the ride.
I haven’t shared this dream with everyone I’m close to, I’m discerning, because some of them wouldn’t get it.
A dream doesn’t require us to convince anyone of its worth.
Our confidence expands every time we’re loyal to the impulse of our hearts, when we take the first step, when we stay with it even when it feels dull or boring right now, and not confuse that for ‘maybe this is a sign I’m not meant to continue’.
We’re not here to bury our dreams under any relationship.
We’re here for the unmistakable radiance of a woman who backs herself, who doesn’t try qualify her dreams with ‘I’m being of service’ or ‘I’m doing it for my family’, who is resolute ‘This is for me’, because she will not exit this life having buried her dreams under the dutiful wife or mother.
That paradigm is redundant AF.